What do I do if his family doesn’t like me? Will I ever be part of the family?
Sadly many of us allow some members of our family to dictate the terms of our relationship. And most times, its the mother in all her matriarchal glory that is the ring leader!!!
And Believe me, her “Two cents” can feel like a dollar when she’s done with that ass!!!
It is my belief that your relationship with your significant other should be just that YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! Not your mother’s not your brother’s your sister, or Aunt Jemama etc…
NOTE: You may have noticed that I neglected to mention the father in all this… well that’s because normally he’s just going along with whatever your mom says just so he won’t get caught up in the crossfire as well. GOD bless him!!!
Now of course initially it would be in your best interest to make every attempt at becoming part of the clan. In my humble opinion, nothing makes a family man say “I DO” faster than knowing that his significant other has been acknowledged an accepted as “one of us”. This however can change in a heartbeat if Mama doesn’t approve of some of the moves you guys make, so the best thing to do is to never give her an opportunity to give her two cents about what’s going on in your relationship.
Here are a few tips:
1. Avoid arguing with your significant other in front of family. Keep your issues in house.
2. Have each others back even if you don’t agree with a decision your significant other has made. Always appear to be a team united.
3. Avoid airing out your dirty laundry in front of others.
4. Its ok to get an outside opinion about your relationship at times,but that’s all it is… an opinion! Only you know what’s best for your relationship.
Now you can do all of those things and still come up short. Why you ask? Well its really quite simple… In the eyes of your dudes mama, YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER BABY!!!
You will never be able to take care for her son the way she could in her eyes. Nor will you ever ease her fears that you aren’t there to replace her so stop trying to convince her otherwise.
Now if you and yours don’t really give a damn what mama or anyone else has to say about your relationship then job well done. Just please make sure you are truly a united front with that mind set . But if you do care about her opinion of you, try with all your might to be as respectful, as caring, as likable as you possibly can be towards her and the rest of the family. Trust me when I tell you it really does go a long way in the eyes of your significant other. But please don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get them to fall in love with you, Save all that for your relationship!!! I’m just saying…